January 20, 2012

How to be Miserable …

Posted in Miscellaneous Musings, On Writing tagged , , , , , , at 9:21 am by Michelle K.

I recently read a list on Facebook – “How to be Miserable as an Artist”. I don’t know the original author of the post, and I can’t give credit where it’s due. But I do appreciate that so many people have shared it, because it really hit home. And at the risk of infringing on someone else’s copyright (take THAT, SOPA!), I thought I’d publish it here, as well.

  1. Constantly compare yourself to other artists.
  2. Talk to your family about what you do and expect them to cheer you on.
  3. Base the success of your entire career on one project.
  4. Stick with what you know.
  5. Undervalue your expertise.
  6. Let money dictate what you do.
  7. Bow to societal pressures.
  8. Only do work that your family would love.
  9. Do whatever the client/customers/gallery owner/patron/investor/*fan* asks. (I added that last one)
  10. Set unachievable/overwhelming goals, to be accomplished tomorrow.

The two most important lessons in this list – for me – are #1 and #10. I find that when I’m feeling the pressure … when the muse refuses to cooperate and all I produce is absolutely craptastic, I start comparing my work to other writers and identifying all the places where I’ve gone wrong. Why didn’t I come up with that turn of phrase? Why don’t I see the world that way? How did I miss this, that, or the other?  There is nothing worse for your self esteem than to compare your work with others’ and berate yourself for being somehow … less … than they are.

I’m pretty lucky. I’m part of a group of fantastic writers who create within the same genre. I’m always learning from them. I’m always inspired by them. I get fantastic support, incredibly helpful editorial advice, and the belief that no matter how long it takes, I will get it done. But there are times when I have to remind myself that these amazing writers go through the same struggles as I: sometimes, inspiration just hits … and sometimes – often – they have to work for it. Instead of comparing myself to them, instead of identifying all the places where I fall short, I can look at the work of these artists and think, “Wow. I want to work harder. I want to do better. I want to feel about my work the way I feel about theirs.” And you know what? Eventually, I do. When I produce something I’m genuinely proud of, I know what it’s like to not be miserable. So … lesson learned. Use other artists as inspiring examples … but never compare yourself to them. Never try to be like them. Your art is yours. You are unique and different, and your voice deserves to be heard.

And that brings me to #10, which I’m pretty sure has plagued me since the day I started this blog (possibly before). Avoid setting goals that are unrealistic, unachievable, overwhelming … and expecting them to be done tomorrow. Life gets in the way. Careers matter, and bills, and kids, and spouses, and pets. Your commitments are important, and if you allow yourself to be derailed every time something else needs your attention, you’ll only beat yourself up when you don’t accomplish what you set out to do.

I’ve been working on the same story for almost four years (egads! FOUR YEARS!) … and so many times, I’ve had to step back because what was going on in the rest of my life took up my time, my fuel, my creative energy. I’m still working on this lesson, and many days it’s a major struggle. But it’s necessary to remember that, ultimately, we’re not creating for other people. When we start to do what others want or expect, when we produce for them instead of for ourselves … we lose sight of why we started in the first place. So what if it takes four months to write a craptastic chapter? And what if it takes another two or three months to turn into something wonderful? Well then, so be it!  Don’t set unreasonable deadlines. Let the muse guide you. (I say this with a sheepish hint of irony, given that I set a New Year’s resolution to finish my story by year-end).

When all is said and done, the only pressure we artists really need to listen to is the one that comes from within … from the voice that says, “Make the time. Trudge ahead. Don’t give up. Keep practicing.”

So keep at it, friends. However long it takes. The work will always be there – it’s up to you to decide how you’ll approach it. Just remember to have fun with it! Laugh a little! Give the muse a good beating now and then! But never … NEVER … make yourself miserable doing it. If you’re miserable … then what’s the point?

Happy New Year!

January 14, 2010

Life’s Path

Posted in Life Happens, Miscellaneous Musings at 9:45 am by Michelle K.

I know it’s been awhile since I posted, but I’ve been busy with all sorts of new and exciting things – life changing things.  There are so many risks, so many questions.  And yet, it’s the first time in my life that I’m not overwhelmed by the unknown.  I’m not scared of it.  I’m seizing it with all the grace I can muster (I’ve never been particularly graceful), taking the bull by the horns, as they say.  It’s very interesting.  And very … VERY … busy!

A close friend of mine is currently going through a rough time.  She’s an amazing person, and I hope she’s reading this because she needs to know just how great she is, and how deserving of happiness.  Earlier this week she shared a profound statement with me – an excerpt from Rainer Maria Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet – which applied not only to her own current path, but to mine, as well.  And it struck me that while we all travel different roads, the journey – life’s path – is ultimately the same.  After all, living means facing the twists and turns that come your way, deciding which road to travel, and hoping it’s a path that yields rewards.  But I think we sometimes forget that the rewards are not in the destination.  They’re in the getting there.

Rilke said it far more beautifully, more eloquently than I:

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue.  Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them.  And the point is, to live everything.  Live the questions now.  Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer.”

As we all look forward to 2010, remember to live the questions.  Do not seek to know everything, but relish the experience of discovering your truth – your happiness – along the way.  Be your best self.  Grow.  Live.

Happy New Year!